Poem: She sleeps underneath

Daring and brilliant- I saw her, an image of

conjured humility, I blame my youthful stupidity-

On the loss of my favorite one, my love-

Undercover wanderer, treading skyline, heading yonder-

The one I could not compare to anyone.

 

Darling fox that sneaks through the brush-

And chews on the remains of the prey it has caught-

Don’t betray me, don’t pay me to be your liar-

Your God on earth and friar; I took so much time out-

For this thing we had, the blazing trail of love;

I held her higher than my Christmas wreath-

Now she sleeps underneath.

 

It is funny how things once touted can become so sour-

I picked up many weeds until I unveiled the flower-

But it had threads of thorns weaved round its leave, its color-

Fragmented, agitated-not a flower to keep;

This was like the girl you see.

I threw away all the weeds surrounding my bed-stand-

And threw the flower over my sheets, and it stained them-

I tucked it gently under my bed-

It sleeps underneath.

 

I was scared there was nothing more for me,

I was afraid of the bitter loneliness and death,

That comes with a loss so hard and painful;

To let go was like a traveling show, ridiculous-

I held my heart in check and tried regardless-

In me was a crushed red streak of love, and hope-

Peace, serenity, in the cavity of my heart lie my enemies,

And she sleeps underneath.

 

I once laid awake and contemplated this complex fate-

I have held a gun to my brain, I have tried on many garments-

To disguise my body as it is wrangled, and lame-

I do not walk the streets alone for shame-

There is no one to rightly blame; she or he or I-

All I know is to let go is priceless, but my heart-

It is filled with vices, old devices of love and of hate-

I fear I can not let go completely, so I neatly rearrange,

The furniture to persuade myself she is still there;

I put a light on next to the empty chair.

And climb into bed, into dreams;

Nothing is as it seems to me-

She walks in, an apparition far more haunting than the deceased,

And comes to the bed.

She sleeps underneath.

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